he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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