We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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