Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
