woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
