I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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