Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
