i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
