3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
