i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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