Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
