I intend to get homeless drunk
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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