i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
