We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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