i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
There r osticjed everywhere
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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