woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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