As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
