Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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