He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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