Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
