We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
