Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
