i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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