there was a trapeze. enough said
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
