he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize