so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
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