I wish I could teleport
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize