How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
