Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
