he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
are you so shy because you have an std?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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