Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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