If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Farmville is her only friend.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
