You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
