Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
Randomize
