He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
