just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
