My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
