I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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