Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
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