I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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