Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
