You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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