Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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