just tell him i said nine months
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Randomize
