The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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