I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
