My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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