I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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