addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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