I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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