Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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