Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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