I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
