Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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