literally had 100 drinks last night.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
