her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
