yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
