what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
