Pappa wants mamma naked
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
