So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
