You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
