she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Operation Purity has been aborted
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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