Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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